I received a sad piece of news this morning.
My dear granddad had passed away. In fact, there had already been a funeral for him. My mum couldn’t bear to break the news to me until I spoke to her today. While I was on the train to work. You can imagine how hard I was trying not to bawl my eyes out in front of my fellow commuters.
What’s harder than losing a loved one is not being able to be there physically for the remaining ones who matter.
Anyway, I came to think about how we could keep my granddad’s memory alive at our wedding. Nothing over the top or that will dampen spirits of course. There are many ideas to be found on the web, though I am unfamiliar with how Chinese elders view the idea of remembering a lost one at a supposedly joyous occasion.
There were suggestions to light a memorial candle; to leave an empty seat with a rose (no way! the empty space will be too painfully glaring for me); a little prayer during the ceremony; a little commemorative note in the program; releasing balloons; playing a favourite song or serving a favourite food and having a note about its significance.. but the one idea that resonated most with me, as well as with many other brides, is having a locket with your loved one’s photo pinned to your bouquet.
For me, this is more private and closer to my heart. Another twist to this idea would be wrapping my granddad’s watch around my bouquet. Except I haven’t got his watch. I do however, have this beautiful vintage necklace he gave to my gran when they were courting.
It may not be my style, but I think it will be meaningful to wear it for our tea ceremony, or having it wrapped around my bouquet.
Another fond memory of granddad, is his mini fridge full of Kit Kat bars and tubs of cubic Ricola licorice, which my brother and I used to raid. I might pop those into my clutch to remember him by. After all, Kit Kat for energy; licorice for fresh breath.